Thirty-Nine Weeks Tomorrow

   Today I went for a hike and actually got the guts up to run a bit of it, out of 2 miles I actually ran .3 miles of it so I felt pretty good. I am no longer actually trying to induce labor, I am using things such as pineapple and herbal remedies that the midwife gave me to prepare my body for labor but the walking, hiking and the little run is just for my sanity. I want so bad to start getting back into shape and pushing myself, but I can't while my body is working hard at growing a baby and even though I will be 39 weeks tomorrow, apparently he is still growing. Gina told me I am measuring a week behind basically, though I am supposedly 39 weeks tomorrow, I will measure 38 centimeters. I don't know, but maybe that has something to do with it? I have just about given up on any hope or expectations that Dorian will be coming before his due date (next Thursday), mainly because it is just driving me crazy to think about it and try to gestimate. Last week I was ready, I was pumped and excited to see what labor would be like and felt no fear........... but now, I am back to being nervous, scared and anxious. This roller coaster of emotions is driving me nuts damn it.