Yesterday Opened My eyes

   For the last week or two, I have been trying to find a way to bike with Cameron on certain days, rollerblade (with Dorian) and run on other days while not having my mom watch Dorian just about everyday. I hate doing that, though I know she doesn't really mind it but I just don't feel good about it. Yesterday, after running with Shauna Monday I tried to find a middle ground so that mom wouldn't have to come and watch Dorian again so I told Cameron to bike and I would "strollerblade". I have done it 5 times now with no issues, but yesterday wasn't like any other, there were 2 omens; one at the beginning when I realized how top heavy the stroller was with the infant carseat, I wasn't going fast but I tried to make a tight turn that would normally be easy but I had to fight to keep the stroller from toppling over. The second one was when Cameron went ahead of me to make way through a group of people and their kids, Cameron was almost past them when the little girl ran right in front of him on his bike, he just about fell over but missed her and I was so close behind him that I barely stopped within inches of the bike. I should have told myself that was enough and turned around, I had not been on that route with the stroller and inline skates, the sun was going down, and that greenway was all beat to hell unlike the one on the riverfront that I was used to. My mistakes were:
1: Choosing a new route to strollerblade, in the evening.
2: Not taking heed of the omens 
3: Strollerblading with the infant carseat which makes the stroller extremely top heavy.
4: Risking my son's safety for the sake of:
   - not having mom watch him 2 days in a row
   - trying to have him with us on an outing
  Before going down another hill at 1.5 miles, Cameron mentions to be careful so I tapped my breaks a couple time and I felt in control, I had already passed quite a few beat up, dangerous spots so I felt confident. I eyed the huge cracks right at the turn and picked out the flattest spot, but then it all went out of control in seconds. As I hit that crack, the front wheel which I did not have in the swivel locked (because I can barely turn it, let alone be going faster than 12 minutes a mile), the front wheel went sideways and could not go back in time, I felt the front start bouncing and instead of pushing 40-50 lbs I was trying to hold onto it and get it under control all while trying to keep everything on the road/greenway along the turn. I managed to slow it down enough, rip my hand out of the safety line so that I ran into the railing and I watched the stroller fall sideways, watching my little boy's face in slow motion, once the stroller stopped, he started crying, frightened. Luckily, the Baby Trend Expedition stroller and the infant carseat adapter was strong, because if the adapter hadn't been, and the carseat fell away from the stroller, my little boy could have been injured. I didn't even care about my knees, I drug/crawled to him and pulled the stroller back onto it's wheels and pulled him out of there and held him. My phone was smashed, my knees were scraped but I didn't care, all that mattered to me was my little boy.
  I won't be doing that ever again, I feel horrible. In the 16-17 years of rollerblading, I have only fallen 4 times. My instincts told me each time I took him out that I was risking his safety, I wondered how much of this the stroller could handle but I told myself I would keep my speed under control and not go crazy. All the other times, I had picked a route that was new with no bumps, cracks or any kind of damage until this one. Things probably would have gone differently if he wasn't in the carseat, which made the stroller top heavy like an SUV, if he had been in the actual seat, the center of gravity would have been closer to the wheels. No more, not while he is in the carseat, If I ever take him again it won't be until after Winter and I will stick to flat surfaces and he will be wearing a helmet.
  Even if I have to run in the mornings to avoid asking mom to watch him everyday, I won't take him rollerblading, I will go by myself. Things could have been so much worse, I am so thankful that they weren't, that the stroller was able to take that kind of beating while keeping my little boy tucked away. Never again.