A Life Coming to an End

  A little bit after Cameron got home tonight, while I was feeding Dorian he noticed what must be blood. My best friend is hacking up blood now, and I did some online research and Congestive Heart Failure is it word for word, for the last few months she has become exhausted, panting more and more, labored breathing, coughing and collapsing after only a few steps. I don't want to think about it, I don't want to realize the reality of what is about to happen, that I am about to lose my best friend of 13 years. It's a reality I don't want to face, I just want to find a room and cry for hours, I wish I could give her 10 years of my life. I know she had 13 1/2 great years, I just wish she could have at least 3 more. I know that this started about 6 or 7 months ago, but I just assumed it was age slowing her down rather than an actual issue. The vet had seen her twice this year and didn't notice anything serious.
   Tomorrow I am going to call the vet and see if I can bring her in to be checked out, see if it is in fact what I fear.
(Continued) Unfortunately she has to see Dr. Nelson, a man she has never met before. I hate making her deal with a man to examine her...
   She did well at the vet, but the news isn't good. It isn't Congestive Heart Failure, but the X-rays show cancer legions all over her lungs, with fluid inside her lungs and probably her heart. The vet is pretty positive that she has lung cancer, and after doing some research she might not make another year if even that. If she does make it through winter I know she won't last another summer if it is anything like this last summer, but I am going to try and make things as easy and comfortable as I can for her. I know Cameron and I can't be constantly cleaning up after her in the house, and Cameron will most definitely not tolerate it. I don't want to put her outside, because she doesn't want to be outside and it is going to get cold very soon, and I don't want to leave her downstairs all alone either. I guess I can only take each day as it comes, and enjoy how ever much time I have left with her.