Twenty-Five Weeks Yesterday

    Yesterday I hit 25 weeks pregnant, and even though I am a little nervous about my weight gain, after doing a bit of research I am on a pretty steady climb and not gaining too much nor too little. Around 20 weeks, I had only gained 5 lbs since becoming pregnant and it shows that is a bit low, so now I am right on track it seems. I just took some belly photos tonight, tomorrow if I go into my office I am going to get them on the computer and compare them to past weeks. I only ran about 2.4 miles last week and no miles this week but I have picked up on Aerobics Kickboxing (DVD) which I have come to really like, and next week I am getting Zumba Fitness (Exhilarate) DVDs which should really make things interesting. 
    Hopefully I can get back to a bit of running again, I think I really need a maternity girdle though. Hopefully I can keep up my Aerobics Kickboxing and work on the Zumba dancing for the next 2 or 3 months to keep my body is as best the shape as it can be while pregnant. It is kind of hard to think that I only have about 15 weeks to go, and it feels much slower or longer than like when I was 15 weeks pregnant. I really hope I gain some patience from this pregnancy, because this is probably the hardest thing I am having to wait on ever.

....Almost 25 Weeks Along......

    This Thursday I will be 25 weeks pregnant, things seem to be going pretty well except for little things here and there. I've got 15 weeks to go and it is getting a little hard to deal with not being able to work out to lose weight or stay fit, I am feeling depressed and angry but also crappy for feeling like this. I keep telling myself that this weight gain is the baby growing and my body preparing for everything, it just sucks right now and I can't really talk to anybody especially Cameron as he wouldn't understand any of it. I want so bad to keep up my fitness, and watching myself gain weight and grow is very stressful, and it is really difficult to know that my balance is completely off so my kickboxing DVDs aren't as fun as normally.
    I really hope these feelings start to die down, because they make me feel really bad about everything and I know it will just begin to slow down the next 15 weeks I have to go.

A Silver Lining in the Sky

   Other than the minor aches and pains of pregnancy, it seems things are slowly beginning to look up for us. One minute it seems the business is getting ready to end up going through another hard time and doing so good, and then things slowly begin to pick up and the future once again looks bright. Even with this economy as bad as it is, things have been getting better for us and I really hope it stays that way, with 2012 coming up a lot of crazy shit is probably going to start happening just because people will be afraid and acting on fear rather than rationality, hell our sales might even pick up then too, but I just want to get pass 2012 and make it through this economy. With everything that is going on right now, I can almost see my Dream in sight now; a Rescue Ranch for animals.

I felt my Baby Kick!!!!!

    While laying in the tub a few minutes ago, I saw my stomach just pop in and out like pop rocks!!! I felt my baby kick, and it felt so weird but awesome at the same time!!!!! I have been feeling him for days now, maybe weeks but this is the first time I was actually able to see him do it!!!!

1st Workout in 3 Weeks

   I was finally able to make it to the gym for the first time in 3 weeks, last night I decided that now since Cameron is driving himself to work and I don't have to wait on him, Ethan and I would be leaving the house around 7 a.m instead of 8:30 or almost 9:00 a.m. Ethan isn't too happy about it, but I don't care since he makes the decision to stay up all night and not get any sleep. Being pregnant, I am not going to just let my body go out of control in gaining weight, no fucking way.


Tread mill - 21 min walking 3.7 mph/ 4 min run 6 mph/ 5 min walk
Lat Pull Down - 4 sets of 25 reps / 35 lbs
Tricep Pull Down - 4 sets of 25 reps / 30 lbs
Delta Fly - 4 sets of 12 reps / 35 lbs
Reverse Delta Fly - 4 sets of 12 reps / 35 lbs




The strength training wasn't near my usual amount, but I added an extra set to each one and I feel great about the workout this morning, hopefully I can keep it up.

Always a Roller Coaster

   Sometimes I wonder if it would be better working somewhere else, getting paycheck and not having to worry about whether they would be going out of business the very next day, or me being responsible for income and expenses. As usual; though things seem to be going so well for us as a family and small business, there is always something out there waiting to knock us down and remind us how life can just go from pretty good to in the hole. I really hate banks, I hate doing transactions because I don't quite understand them. I think I am going to have my mom come in here shortly and help me do the whole reconcile thing, I am scared to tell Cameron that I haven't done it since we started quickbooks, but I know I have to get it done in order to get everything synced up right. This is just stressing, and aggravating. We have so many sales coming up that we shouldn't have to worry ourselves, BUT the problem is that the biggest sale won't be until late January and the other sales aren't being made. We have about $12,000 in invoices to Dealers who still haven't made their payments, and I am really wanting to call them up and just start screaming at them!!!!!

Things Looked Up Very Shortly

  Though we will probably never really know what went wrong with my jeep, I was lucky enough that Cameron knew the importance of finding a good vehicle and finding it fast and after searching through individual sales, he decided it might be a good idea that I try for a loan on a vehicle. Thanks to fate and someone watching out for me (I hope), after going through a lot of vehicles priced under $10,000 with over 120,000 miles on them I found the one I wanted almost 5 years ago and got tricked. I found a 1998 Chevy Tahoe, in great condition (so it seams at the moment) with only 63,148 miles on it on sale for $6,770.00 and it was in good, good shape and very roomy but not too big. At first it seemed like the loaning company were going to make us jump through holes because I don't make a paycheck. Then Cameron made the offer (again) to pay cash outright, the deal was made at $5,895.00 including taxes. The Tahoe is now mine and sitting out in our driveway, it drives like a freaking dream, doesn't even drive all big and huge like a SUV would but more like a car with tight turns and smooth ride. I am so happy, so excited that things are working out and worked out the way they did!!!!

My Life Straight to Hell in Seconds

   After paying my jeep off just a few days ago, after getting all the bugs fixed and finally feeling that it can last a year or two more - all that was just wrecked in fucking seconds. My stepson's stupid ass band mate's piece of shit car needed a jump, so he moved my jeep over to where he could use it to jump start the car. Once Ethan got back into the jeep to move it, it just apparently went out of control and straight into the fence and completely totaled it. 
   I cannot begin to describe what I am feeling right now, it is just bullshit that I keep getting fucked over in life, especially with my baby on the way and now not having a vehicle. I had that jeep for almost 5 years, it would be 5 years next March and it could have lasted for up to 2 more years, the bugs were worked out of it and other than the minor electrical issues with heating/ac, it was a damn reliable vehicle that got me everywhere and anywhere - and now I am fucked, god only knows the kind of lemon I am going to get stuck with for the next few years as I probably won't get to purchase anything more than $3,000 at most. I am just so fucking sick of getting fucked over in life, I am so sick of being poor and always getting the short end of the stick because of someone else's bullshit. I knew I would lose that jeep, I knew I would lose it to due to someone else's bullshit being behind the wheel and the last few days I had a feeling it would be Ethan behind the wheel - God damn it I wish I had went out there instead of letting him take my keys!!!! I know deep down it would not have happened, FUCK! The jeep was looking so much better, getting fixed and having NOTHING engine wise wrong with it and then all of sudden with another driver it just happened to fuck up................ I don't care what they claim I know it wouldn't have happened if I had been behind the wheel. Now I am fucked with out a vehicle and my next vehicle will be a total piece of shit, probably hardly ever on the road for more than a few months before needing to be brought in the shop for some fucked up engine issue! GOD DAMN IT!!!! I loved that fucking jeep, it would have been 5 years next March, the longest I have owned a vehicle and I just lose it to someone else behind the wheel.......... I just want to crawl into a corner right now, I don't want to talk to anyone and Cameron of course is now defending Ethan as usual, if it had been my brother driving it, all the blame would have immediately went to him without question. I am just sick of Ethan and Preston always being defended about shit, I knew in my gut not to let him take my keys, I knew in the deepest part of my mind to tell him no (and honestly say fuck Jacob's piece of shit) but I was busy answering stupid ass customer emails. Fucking bullshit!!

Lord Yesterday Was A Day

   Tuesday I got the day off, Cameron felt that it was better if I stayed home and rested for 24 hours and it helped tremendously. Yesterday though, I felt like my stomach was being stretched and torn, my abdominal muscles and pelvis were just being pulled apart and stretched. It wasn't exactly painful but it wasn't great either and I wasn't enjoying it. All day it went on, but I believe it started around Tuesday and finally this morning I think it has died down and other women have told me not to worry because it can be like this up until around the 7th month and then things kind of die down until I will be feeling the baby shove his head through my uterus.
   The cold is going away slowly, I am not sneezing but the coughing is still there though I feel a hell of a lot better. Today I am 21 weeks along, so I pretty much have 19 weeks to go which doesn't seem a whole lot but my patience is just awful so we will see how much I learn on patience through this lol.