It's been a year, 2 months and 16 days since my best friend passed away, and it still hurts so bad thinking about her and the 13 years she was by my side. Such a huge chunk of my life, she was with me as I grew from a child to an adult, falling in love and marrying, and having my first baby.... and then she had to leave me. I have so many regrets, so many apologies I wish I could have told her.... things I wish I could have done better, things I wish I hadn't done. Everyone thinks I was so great to her, that she had such a great life but I still feel so awful for all the time I had gotten angry with her, all the times I had lost my temper when I should have shown patience and understanding.
The biggest regret is the last time I saw her alive, I had so much to say to her but I was so scared of breaking down in front of Cameron who was in there with us. The look in her eyes, the pain, the suffering, the fear and uncertainty. I also saw how ready she was for the pain and suffering to be over, even if that meant having to say goodbye. I wasn't ready, I was not ready to lose her...... and I honestly haven't had a chance to fully grieve, and I don't think all the tears in the world could make me feel better about Molly's passing.
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