Sometimes I Seriously Wonder

  I guess I am used to the slightly large house and property we have been renting from my brother-in-law since January of 2010, but the idea of moving into a smaller, even somewhat shabby house isn't very appealing to me. I don't care if we'd be buying it cash outright, I've got 4 cats and a dog and Cameron is wanting another dog in a year, the house we live in now is barely big enough to house these animals without stinking and they're not allowed downstairs, in the garage or the bedrooms really. I was also hoping that the next house would have a room that I could have some exercise equipment in, maybe a treadmill and I could hang my medals and bibs but all Cameron cares about is that it has a room or garage for their band shit AND whatever extra room in the house would immediately be the "recording room". Then it would be nice to have a house where we can keep the litter boxes out of sight, maybe a pantry where the laundry room is but none of that matters as long as he owns a house. If I comment or am reluctant about anything he is excited about, then I don't appreciate anything or I am not thinking ahead into the future and women just can't see the diamond in the dirt.......... no I am just thinking about all of it, now, past and future and about the animals and my son and myself as well. He also has plans of "helping" his other children buy their houses as well, which isn't so bad but Stephanie is never going to fix her life and he will always be throwing money down that pit.
  He then talks about how he can work on the house, remodel or add to it.......... and how putting more money in can bring up the value if he wanted to sell it later in the future, yeah there's been so many successful homeowner sales in the last couple of years. I just don't to be stuck in a house, area for the rest of who knows how long and not even like the place. I just don't like diving into an unknown, renting just feels easier and there really isn't any commitment to it. It's just nerve wracking to know I really don't have any say in this, it doesn't matter how I feel or think of a house that looks like crap or whatever, because it's cheap and that is all that matters to him. Sometimes being in this family really sucks, because situations like this just remind me that I am still pretty much an outsider with no real opinion or voice, but coincidentally married to the top dog...