Other than the threat of whatever our government is planning and the fate of the world and most importantly the fate of America in question, things have been going pretty well. Cameron is looking or scoping out boats, honestly as much as a part of me would like a good boat with a cabin and everything, I ain't in any hurry.
  Dorian is growing so fast, he is so beautiful and such an amazing little boy. He's into biting now, which I am sure I am going to have to start curbing immediately before it gets out of hand. He loves tossing the ball, or anything really and he has a new love of regular milk. My little guy hasn't been feeling to well these last couple of days, though today he is feeling a bit better and much happier.
  

Sometimes I Seriously Wonder

  I guess I am used to the slightly large house and property we have been renting from my brother-in-law since January of 2010, but the idea of moving into a smaller, even somewhat shabby house isn't very appealing to me. I don't care if we'd be buying it cash outright, I've got 4 cats and a dog and Cameron is wanting another dog in a year, the house we live in now is barely big enough to house these animals without stinking and they're not allowed downstairs, in the garage or the bedrooms really. I was also hoping that the next house would have a room that I could have some exercise equipment in, maybe a treadmill and I could hang my medals and bibs but all Cameron cares about is that it has a room or garage for their band shit AND whatever extra room in the house would immediately be the "recording room". Then it would be nice to have a house where we can keep the litter boxes out of sight, maybe a pantry where the laundry room is but none of that matters as long as he owns a house. If I comment or am reluctant about anything he is excited about, then I don't appreciate anything or I am not thinking ahead into the future and women just can't see the diamond in the dirt.......... no I am just thinking about all of it, now, past and future and about the animals and my son and myself as well. He also has plans of "helping" his other children buy their houses as well, which isn't so bad but Stephanie is never going to fix her life and he will always be throwing money down that pit.
  He then talks about how he can work on the house, remodel or add to it.......... and how putting more money in can bring up the value if he wanted to sell it later in the future, yeah there's been so many successful homeowner sales in the last couple of years. I just don't to be stuck in a house, area for the rest of who knows how long and not even like the place. I just don't like diving into an unknown, renting just feels easier and there really isn't any commitment to it. It's just nerve wracking to know I really don't have any say in this, it doesn't matter how I feel or think of a house that looks like crap or whatever, because it's cheap and that is all that matters to him. Sometimes being in this family really sucks, because situations like this just remind me that I am still pretty much an outsider with no real opinion or voice, but coincidentally married to the top dog...

So Far in My Life

  So far life has taken me on an amazing journey and it has gotten even better since Dorian has come into my life, granted I don't get as much sleep as I used to but his smiles and personality make up for it. My little angel is going to be a year old in just a little over a week, he has been walking since March 12 and is already trying to run which is just awesome. He will spend hours at home in the evening walking, and trying to run; if he falls down then he will get back up either by himself or using the couch or recliner to pull himself up and do it all over again. This little guy wants to walk, run and climb faster than his body is capable yet, and it has been an awesome experience watching him. I am going to miss this little guy so much when he's gone, I tear up just thinking about the little guy he used to be but isn't anymore and I miss it already. I love how he'll look up at me and smile, or want a kiss and then laugh, I love how his eyes shine with so much happiness and love. I hope and pray that I can keep him safe for as long as he depends on me, I hope I can build his character and assist him in growing to become a strong, kind-hearted man that knows right from wrong and isn't afraid to walk his own path and sometimes against the current of others. I love this little boy so much, a love I could never imagine before I first looked into his eyes.
   My first Half Marathon of 2013 is coming up just around the corner, actually I am pretty much on the same block as it now. The St. Louis Half Marathon is this Sunday, and I am so excited and a little nervous though not like I used to be. I feel like a Thoroughbred kicking at the starting gate, ready to run free and strong, and as fast as my legs will allow me and my heart desires. The last two Half Marathons had something going on, and the first that never happened was my most serious injury so far and it taught me a lot. The first Half was when I was 13 weeks pregnant and I had the ongoing sensation of needing to pee the whole race so I never really picked up the pace like I wanted and I made 5 bathroom stops along the way losing an overall 10 minutes on my time. The second Half last year I endured an injury to my groin or quad most likely due to starting up my training too soon after giving birth when my body still needed time to heal and recover. This year is different, I am more than ready for this race; I have trained hard and smart all Winter and this time it is going to be much different.