My Future Goals and what I have already Accomplished

  Sitting here pretty much doing nothing at work, I was just thinking about my goals and list of things to do in my life. I have a wonderful, more than perfect son and a great life and a great husband. My son is beautiful, he is amazing and more than I could have ever imagined or wanted, I still have no idea how I managed to be happy before he existed. Working here at the shop and being able to have him with me, being able to run and do races just makes me feel great. I don't know if I would be able to function at work if he was somewhere else being cared for by someone else.
  So far I have ran 2 Half Marathons and a lot of smaller races, and this year I will be running in possibly 5 Half Marathons along with a few smaller races. 
There isn't really anymore that I can do, I don't know how far Cameron would be willing to travel and there isn't a lot around here. And unfortunately a lot of them are close together on dates but far apart on distance, I am kind of regretting having signed up for the Flying Pig Half Marathon in Ohio, when I should have signed up for the One America 500 Half Marathon instead, up in Indianapolis. I can do that one next year though, other than earning myself 4-5 more finisher's medals this year I really want to increase my weekly mileage to 30-35 by the end of the year without any injuries. 
 It is going to be really hard though, because I will most likely need to add an extra day around November right after the Indy Monumental Half, probably hill or speed work on a treadmill. I am tempted to do it this summer with a couple months between my Half Marathons, but I am not sure if that would be a good idea.

February Almost Over

 This month has gone by so fast, my first race of the year and my little boy's second tooth coming in. He is standing on his own more and more, though for a small amount of time each. It is hard to believe that he is going to be 1 year old in less than 2 months, I am still amazed that almost 12 months have already passed by. He is such an amazing little boy, his personality, his always being in a good mood, just everything about him is amazing. I am excited to keep watching him grow but I already miss him being so little, looking at pictures and videos of him makes my heart melt. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
 Business is doing okay, though I'd like to stay cautious as you never know what could happen the very next day. Taxes are coming up, I've got get our Personals together for Marilyn soon, before February is over with.
 I had originally planned on 4 Half Marathons this year, but I might end up with 5 instead, 2 in October. Now, my Half Marathon race schedule might look like this:
April 7, 2013 - Go! St. Louis Half Marathon
May 5, 2013 - Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon
(maybe) October 6, 2013 - Evansville Half Marathon
October 19, 2013 - 18th Annual Indianapolis Half Marathon
November 2, 2013 - Indianapolis Monumental Half Marathon

Evansville Half Marathon is a maybe only because I don't yet know the exact date, it could either be October 6 or October 13. If it is October 6 then I will register for it as that would give me 2 weeks between the two Half Marathons,  but if it is on October 13, then I won't because that would give me barely a week between and I don't want to test my endurance and stamina like that. Plus the Monumental Half will be 2 weeks after the Annual Indy Half, which means we will be going back up to Indy two weeks after being up there and I know Cameron won't be too thrilled about it. I would really like him to go to all of them, because even though my mom is going to most of them I don't feel that Dorian will be safe enough with her. I would feel better if Cameron was there and watching his son.

Need to Rant

   I have to admit that I am not a health freak, I don't stick 100% to any health guidelines without falling off the wagon occasionally. I try to eat healthy, I try to exercise and live a healthy, active life for myself but most of all to set an example for my son. I have to honestly ask why bother when his husband is 100% the complete opposite, and has no problem encouraging our son to do the same, and he is setting a bad example? 
  My niece and nephew are fast food junkies, and my husband's oldest (adopted) daughter's kids are fast food junkies, they will almost never eat good, wholesome food, or even food cooked at home unless it is pizza, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets/wings, or anything else that isn't very healthy. I hate it and I really do not want my son growing up like that, all I hear from those kids is "I want McDonald's, I want Hardees, I want blah blah blah", never anything like Subway or a home cooked meal.
 Cameron is constantly snacking and eating while watching movies, he isn't active and he won't go on walks with me ever, granted it is cold and I don't take Dorian for walks right now but even when it is warm weather he will not go. He insists that this is his relaxation when he isn't at work, even though he is sitting in a chair at work all day in front of a computer. I am so sick of this, I want to set an example for my son, a healthy example and help ensure that he doesn't have to deal with obesity or unhealthy eating habits as much as possible, but no matter how many steps I take forward, I feel myself thrown a hundred steps back thanks to Cameron.
 I know Dorian is only about 10 months old, that he is still growing and that things can't be for certain yet but I am seriously concerned and angry that Cameron doesn't give a crap about it. Cameron eats fast food for lunch, he is constantly drinking soft drinks and never anything else, I don't buy soft drinks at home but he brings them from work. He eats those nasty beef sticks and is always eating chips and popcorn, and is already giving Dorian pieces of popcorn, I know he will be giving him pieces of beef sticks, chips and everything else once Dorian can chew and swallow and has all his teeth. This just infuriates me!!!!

Cannot Get off This Weight Plateau

  Around October right at the Half Marathon I was weighing about 140-141 lbs and was excited thinking that soon I would be breaking below 140. Unfortunately after the Half Marathon I had to slow my running back down, and then came the holidays and all the eating. Since December I have been stuck at around 143-144 lbs and I can't seem to shake the 3 lbs, it is driving me crazy. I look in the mirror and I don't really notice any difference to October but the scale says so. I have been on this salad diet now for about 2 weeks, trying to stick to under 1,700 calories unless I run then I will aim for 1,900 calories. I was really hoping to be around 134 lbs by the time the St. Louis Half in April but it doesn't look like it is going to happen. Oh well.

Crappy News Today

  While on the phone with my mom, talking about a few things and her watching Dorian tomorrow and Friday she told me that she was going to start Zumba classes next week. Good for her, except that sucks for me. Those classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, two of the days that I run during the week. Basically the only days she will be watching him now are Fridays and maybe Sundays during my long run (if that one at all). It sucks, I hate feeling a little mad at her for doing this but I know she wants to get into something to get healthy and I am happy for her, but now this completely screws me up. I only really have her or Cameron to watch him, and Cameron is busy like everyday except for maybe the weekend. If I wait until Cameron gets home on those nights, it will be 10-11 p.m before I even get my run in and I don't want to run that late all the time and on the same route. If I was to try and get out and run around 5:30 a.m after getting Dorian back to sleep, he could wake up and then wake Cameron up who would be extremely pissed off at me. The more and more I think about it, but more angry I get. I don't trust other people and I really don't feel comfortable looking for a babysitter.... I am very picky of who influences my son,and he is becoming very needy and attached to me here lately.
    I think I might have to end up buying a treadmill, Ethan should be moving out soon, hopefully before Spring so then I could have the treadmill in his old room. My grandma has a treadmill (I think), maybe I could go there with Dorian and she could watch him while I run........... but he would have to start getting used to her because I don't know how well he would do. 

There Might be a Chance!

  I purchased these super absorbent diapers for Dorian, there supposed to be for night time sleep. Last night he fell asleep at 7, but I decided to wake him up around 9 so I could run to the store and get bacon for breakfast. He had his last feeding at almost midnight, I then put an absorbent diaper on him and he eventually fell asleep around 12:30. Other than me waking up to go to the restroom around whatever time, he didn't wake up. I woke him up at 7 a.m, fed him and then he went back to sleep. It is now 8:26 a.m and he is still asleep, and it has me really excited. I think that if this isn't just a coincidence and the diapers are what help, I might be able to actually go to the gym in the morning!

So Much Going on in 2013

  It is hard to be able to sit back and watch my son grow when the threat of a dictatorship is looming over my country, the thought of something happening to my son has me in such a state of fear I sometimes can't sleep. I try to enjoy every moment with him, I try to enjoy watching his personality begin to shine through while also looking back on the last 9 months. It is hard to be 100% happy when everything could be taken away from us in an instant, all because of greed for power and control.
  On another note, I also have 4 half marathons this year along with smaller races so I am trying to think about them too. My mileage is climbing but my weight is either sticking around 143 and I can also see my gut/stomach sticking out. It is aggravating to not be losing weight, and not know what to do to get off this plateau that I have been stuck on. 
  The business is doing really well right now, mainly because people are worried about Obama's gun ban that is coming up, I am so sick of this pompous baboon people call our president but I am honestly sick of the government period. Why could I have lived during one of our first 20 presidents???